ursorum: Doctor Who the hell cares
taemanliness: zcatz: zcatz: Fun fact, I have a green foil star balloon that I was given at the zoo and it’s still fully inflated without ever being refilled. Funner fact? I was two years old when I got it, making it a 16 year old balloon. I may be carrying a balloon that is older than a fair few of my followers right now. how
sacaswagea: immergerd: sacaswagea: “if ur ready CUM and get it” haha only 18+ will get this one. :PPP I’m younger than eighteen and I get the joke. Btw, you’re really only supposed to use numbers instead of spelling out the word after one hundred. Or, to be grammatically correct, 100. You’re eighteen, you should know this. is this real life
inseptica: shout out to girls with harsh voices and boys with fat thighs and to people who dont like a tv show but will still watch it with a good attitude if their friend wants to watch it and shout out to people who only rarely talk to their pets in baby voices and also to people who laugh at their own jokes and people who draw angry eyebrows on billboards i love you all
historyme: For the next hour I’ll answer every single one of your extremely personal messages, even if you’re anon.
itlooksgoodfromouterspace: consulting-idjits-in-the-tardis: heartfulpenguin: yashikoru: heartfulpenguin: heartfulpenguin: i can hear my brother screaming at his DS he’s playing cooking mama thats some hardcore cooking COOKING MAMA IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE OKAY THAT SHIT IS FUCKING INTENSE DON’T TELL ME YOU’VE NEVER YELLED AT COOKING MAMA FUCK YOU Is that your brother
keep your eyes peeled
initiala: A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and then she said “Oh, well, no, my wife and I were married by the slide, but we’ll be happy together anyway.” So apparently on school playgrounds, slides are...
ianthe: schmergo: ianthe: nothing grape flavored is flavored like grapes it’s just flavored like other grape flavored things and this is why I have trust issues FUN FACT: Grape artificial flavor was the first artificial flavor created, by accident. That means that some guy decided, “Whoa, this smells a lot like grapes,” and now everyone pretends it’s grape-y, too… It tastes like an...
Cosmo Sex Tip #31
cartoonshumorandsex: During sex, surprise him with an extremely sexy orgasm moan by making the THX theme sound at the top of your lungs
Cosmo Tip #457
carlywritesonthings: Right before he is about to orgasm, Sponge Bob laugh and yell “I’m ready!!!”
togamiswife: Cosmo tip #81804959028032: Instead of moaning your partners name, loudly scream the Neon Genesis Evangelion opening
wtfstuck: wtfstuck: why did yugi’s grandpa need to go to the hospital when he lost a card game
alltsunandnodere: agayofgays: I FUCKING FIGURED IT OUT THE ‘THE’ IS SIDEWAYS, RIGHT? BECAUSE YOU READ THE THE WITH ALL THREE OF THE PHRASES ‘IMAGINE THE SKY’ ‘HOW IS THE SKY’ ‘TOUCH THE SKY’ IT’S STILL FUCKING STUPID BUT I FIGURED IT THE FUCK OUT YOU ARE A FUCKING GOD AMONG MEN.
pearls: pearls: i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard
frenchsfries: things to look forward to in the summer shirtless boy sHirTlEsS bOys sHIRTLESS BOYFS SHIRTELSL EBOYS no school
scvlptures: depression is when you don’t really care about anything anxiety is when you care too much about everything and having both is just like what
the-vashta-nerada: today my sister asked me for a glass of cold water and i sarcastically asked her “how cold” and she said “as frigid as your love life”
Everyone like 1 year ago: haha the 3ds is LAME
Everyone now: shit.
donaldcock: I can’t believe Kaiba Corporation just bought Tumblr
tardisity: The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
makkine: makkine: Oh my god this is giving me flashbacks to when Disney announced it was buying club penguin and there was a literal actual penguin protest in front of the clothes shop for like 4 hours straight I love society
darlingwanderer: colouredking: takealltheseats: colouredking: herpes sounds like the name of a greek god thats because it seriously is 1 letter away um lol i don’t remember any greek gods named gerpes learn ur history HERMES YOU ASSHOLE HERE HE IS WITH HIS DICK AND HIS CROWN AND HIS DAMN CAPE
thegoddamazon: thempress: z1c: being 20+ on tumblr This is the most accurate depiction I have witnessed of anything ever.